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  :New crap from our beloved Columnists!:
Nothing new here. Come on guys...
April 29, 2017, 3:21 am

  :Mo-Betta FAQ:

Mo-Betta: A Philosophy

Mo-Betta. The very name strikes fear into the hearts of men and machines alike … but what is it, exactly?

Mo-Betta is the unholy love child of Robert and Richard, the internet denizens you may have encountered at The Daily Wheel. They conceived it in their dismal college days, when creating hilarity for ther people was the only light in their sad, hungry little lives. It lay dormant for many moons but was recently resurrected by the seventh son of a seventh son with the sacrifice of thirteen bunnies when Saturn was in the third house on the right, after you pass the Johnson's place.

There is a point to Mo-Betta. You just don't know what it is. And you most likely won't. You'll find some things hilarious, some confusing, some offensive, and some just plain dumb. But that's perfect, because one man's disgusting is some Frenchman's breakfast, and that's just the way the world works.

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Columns are the personal forum space of various members of the Mo-Betta Crew. This is where they will provide insightful commentary on the people and world around them.

Okay, even I know that's crap, and I'm the FAQ. I'm supposed to pimp this junk like it's an out of style candy cane on December 26th.

Columns are where these weirdos will rant and rave about stuff that normal people like you and me realize don't matter. But it'll probably be hilarious, and that's why it's there.

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Articles are about news stories, cool new things, anything that someone here thinks should be known around the world. This is the front page stuff you'll see when you first go to the site. Further information can be had by following the handily-provided links to the place we stole the article from in the first place.

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It's infected everything! Every website wants your info! Name! Email! Country of birth! HEIGHT AND WEIGHT!!!

Suck it up. If you want to submit something we have to know who you are. And we don't care that you're short and fat. So don't tell us. Besides, don't you want to get credit for your textual marvels? Of course you do. So Sign the hell up ®.

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Submission: it's not just for sex slaves anymore.

If you think you can hang with the Mo-Betta Crew feel free to try. We'll steal your humor and claim it as our own! The people will love us more, contribute more, we'll steal more …

Actually, this is why you signed up. Your article/column/whatever will be dumped into the Unmoderated section where people who feel like sifting through the riff-raff can see your pearl of wonder. And if an admin finds it, well then it might just be a shining star on the main page. Something to aspire to, to be sure.

Those who Sign the hell up® and contribute will be listed on the Contributors page with their submissions.

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Unmoderated Section

Articles Gone WILD!! All nude, all the time! These articles will do anything to get on the internet, and you can see it all for free in the Unmoderated section!!!

This is where any old Average Joe (who has, of course, Signed the hell up®) can toss an article or column sort of thing up for people to peruse. That's right, you too can contribute. And so can that guy who hangs out in the McDonald's bathroom, so watch out. And on that note you can sort by votes as well as the submission time. This way you'll feel a little safer and a little more sheep-like.

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School Friendly Section

You're reading Mo-Betta from school!? Are you insane!? What if someone reads over your shoulder? What if the teacher sees that article about that thing? What will you do then!?

Never fear noble busywork-dodger, the School Friendly Section™ is here to save the day. The counterpoint to the Unmoderated section, the idea behind the School Friendly area of Mo-Betta is to provide a safe haven for those dedicated readers who just can't wait for the comfort zone of their home to read the site. Admins will approve submissions for this area as they look at them.

The Mormon Stamp of Approval©: Guaranteed 100% Smut Free!

NOTE: The School Friendly Section functions just as well at work. We are, however, slackers and perennial students who have no concept of the word, so it's called what it's called.

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It's all about choice and voice, isn't it? It's what makes this little world of ours go 'round. Well it affect Mo-Betta, too. You can vote on most everything: articles, columns, random people's submissions … pretty much anything you can read. "But does it matter oh All Knowing FAQ" you cry? Why, of course it does, faithful reader! Your votes can affect some or any of the following:*

  1. A post's ranking
  2. A post's inclusion on the front page
  3. A contributor's ego
  4. An admin's wrath
  5. The order in "Order By Highest Rating"
  6. The status of the "Rank this post" button

You can only vote for any given post one time. You do not have to be logged in to vote, but if you do not Sign the hell up® you're a damn bum.

*No one is guaranteed to care about your opinion.

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